Romeo Must Die Navi Too
by Kitsuneconspiracy
Summary: Lover boy Link is caught it bed with the Princess and must run. PG-13 forSexual Reference, and Link's Dirty Mouth.
1. he

Disclaimer- I don't own Zelda or the movie the title comes from. I'm broke. I don't own Fire Emblem either. Or Death portrayed by Terry Pratchett. Or much else.

**Romeo must die (Navi too)**

'Thoughts'

"Speech"

**Death said**

Author's note:

I am a new author. If anyone has heard of me , I was in the guise of Kitsuneblade. I am not because someone stole that name. This story takes place post MM, after Link has grown up again.(Does that happen? I never beat MM) He has Navi back because hating on her is fun.

Link lay in the gap between sleep and wakefulness, half dozing so he could be easily awakened. He felt a touch on his mind, like a sky-blue cloud or a pink cat. (Minds are weird.)

'Huh . . . ,' he thought, confused.

'It's me, Zelda,' she thought, I'm in your head. Might I say, it's cramped in here, she thought, giggling." I _am _a telepath, and I need to practice.

'Dude, get outta my head, it's not fit for a lady . . . ,' thought Link.

'Oh goddesses, is that ME?! That's practically porn! Not even practically! Where'd you get such dirty thoughts?! Ewwww . . .

'Can I wake up now? I'm blaming the thoughts on hormones, so don't get mad.'

"Wake up!!!" yelled Impa. You are in huge trouble. Your father will be furious!

"Link . . . " Zelda whispered.

"Oh shit," said Link. There it goes . . .

Hyrule's finest guards broke down the door, surrounding Link.

"Watch out!" yelled Navi, demonspawn in fairy form. "There are guards who will look under the bed where Link, who has slept with the princess is probably hiding!!!" She flew around, gesturing helpfully.

"Navi, before I'm executed, I will swat your tiny fairy ass into the WALL," Link yelled.

" You're under arrest for deflowering the princess without a permit!!!" yelled the captain.

" Zelda," said Link calmly, "Why didn't you tell me I NEEDED A FRIGGIN' PERMIT!!!" ( The first part was calm)

" Link, jump out the window and don't yell," Zelda said. She gave him a small push and moved to set a plan of her own in motion.

Link jumped out the window. And fell on a prince.

" A lover escaping from angry parents, with only his wits, his sword and his lady's touch to keep him going. Sniff... how gallant," the handsome blue haired prince proclaimed.

(Pretty boys taking all the girls from nerds like me...It makes me sick. If in Super Smash Bros. he wasn't so cool I would hate him.)

"Who are you?" asked Link.

"You've got to keep moving!" Navi screeched.

"I am Prince Marth of Altea! The man proclaimed. He lithely slipped out from underLink, brushind the dirt off. ("I got some dirt on my ya brush it off for me?" I don't own that)My companion is Lord Roy of Pherae."

"That fairy is annoying!" Roy remarked.

(Roy's half dragon. How can he not kick ass?)

" Damn Straight!" Link agreed. "But why are you here?" He hauled himself off of the ground, muttering.

"Roy and I got a letter saying we need to help you escape from pursuit."

"**LINK MUST DIE**!!!!!" said a voice from the castle, the king himself." **AND GET THAT FAIRY!!!"**

"Maybe we should go before all hell breaks loose," Roy stated.

" My colleague has a point. Shall we run like hell?"

" What do you think?" asked Link who was running.

" Wait for Tingle!" said the second most evil creature ever to walk Hyrule's green earth.

"I am the first, author. Don't dare forget it! Said Ganondorf, breaking the seal from the sacred realm, and causing Zelda to say unprincessly words.

"Noooooo!!!!" "Why meeeee!!!!" Link whined.

** Many people ask that.** said Death in leaden tones, looking at a hourglass inscribed with a Triforce. It had strange places where sand floated up instead of down.

** Even I don't know when your time will come. It could be interesting to watch, however.**

"Dude, you're going to watch ? You asshole! Marth, Roy look..." Link realised time had stopped for them. He put his sword away, and shook his head.

" Damn, man."

Link felt time return to him. He continued his run to southern Hyrule, Marth and Roy at his side.

Will they make it? What will happen to Navi? (flyswatter) Will Tingle stalk them? What is Zelda up to?Find out next time. Fufufufufufufufu...  
"How could you forget the King of Evil!" throws ball of evil magicat author

Review. You have been warned. hits back with stick


	2. DroolsGerudo Girls

**Disclaimer**- If I owned Zelda, I would be playing the new one right now. If I owned Fire Emblem, all the games would be in English by now. Why are all of them but one Japan only? I don't own the Killers either.

**Romeo Must Die**

Our heroes continue their trek across Hyrule, nearing Gerudo Valley.

"If we go to Gerudo Valley, the Hyrulian Guard won't be able to follow us," said Navi, as she swirled around the group.

"Navi!?" exclaimed Link and Marth.

"Gerudo girls... said Roy, drooling.

"I have my moments!" Navi pouted. "Somebody told me! You had a boyfriend! Who looks like a girlfriend! That I had in February of last year..." screamed Navi

"She's unstable," remarked Marth.

"I love the Killers," said Roy.

"Farore, help me," said Link.

"Sure! Said Farore, taking the form of a woman with poofy hair in an odd dress.( Like in Oracle of ages/seasons)

" I wasn't aware you existed," said Marth. "Might I ask how you got here?"

"She's not real. St. Elmine said so," said Lucius (monk from FE 7, looks like a woman, but is a man)

r"You Punk Bitch !!!" said Farore.

"There is one god!" said Lucius.

The following fight has been delete to not offend anyone.

Lucius and Farore died.

Lucky, the batteries fell out and the chapter restarted.

"You Punk Bitch !!!" said Farore

" Let's not discuss theology. Let's just go," Roy said.

The group left Farore and Lucius behind, and reached Gerudo Valley. The puzzled about getting past the guards, until a girl in Sacaen dress walked up with a handful of parchment.

"Hi. I snuck into Gerudo valley to rescue Rath, because they kidnaped him, and guess what ? They gave me these."

The girl gave them Gerudo Member's cards.

" By the way, my name is Lyn."

They entered the fortress. Link kicked back, his escape complete. Marth took a nap. Lyn and Rath found a corner to make out in. Only one thing could ruin this seeming calm.

Roy found a beautiful Gerudo maiden, and they hit it off. They began to kiss.

'There wouldn't be anything wrong with me grabbing a grope now, would there?'

IT WAS A MISTAKE. "Guards ! This...this man tried to rob me!!!" the girl yelled.

"Oh, Zelda," Link muttered softly.

"It's not confidential! I have potential! For rushing and rushing around!" yelled Navi.

The guards rounded up the group. Due to carpenters with gender issues, the cells were full. Nevertheless, the group was rounded up at spear point.

"Dang it!" said Lyn.

"Thank you ever so much," Link said dryly.

The guard looked amongst themselves. " Where do we put the prisoners?" Sahalla asked.

"Dump 'em in the river," ordered Maruu.

The five people were dumped in the river.

" Brace yourself for me!!! I said maybe, baby please!!!" sand Navi as she followed.

This is the end of the chapter. Here's a note. Gerudo River flows into Lake Hylia. And the Killers rock. Someone tell me how to spell Farore.


End file.
